Insurance

I hate insurance companies. Like most people. I'm grateful that I even -have- insurance, but as everyone knows, they are really annoying.

I decided that I needed to see a nutritionist. I found one in Baton Rouge who is also a therapist. Perfect. Just what I need, right? So I called my insurance company and they won't pay for me to see a nutritionist unless it is for either A. a protein deficience or B. diabetes. The customer service rep said that they definitely won't fund seeing a nutritionist for weight loss. WTF? That makes no sense.

According to BlueCross/BlueShield, Louisiana ranks 4th in the country for obesity, and obesity related diseases account for nearly half of Louisiana's state health care budget. If you buy into the medical industrial complex's war on fat, it makes no sense to me that insurance will pay for fat-related illnesses (high blood pressure, gall bladder problems, heart disease, diabetes etc. etc.), but they will not pay for prevention or treatment of obesity.

I can't wait until I see Michael Moore's "Sicko."

Fat Acceptance

Fat-positive feminism, a part of feminist ideology, is the challenge to the fashion/beauty industry and male-defined, objectifying standards of beauty. For as long as I've been a feminist, I've supported this agenda. As a "person of size" (the politically correct term for a fat person), I have always been very comfortable with my body size. For many years, I resisted the pressure to be thin. I have followed the rhetorical and political agenda of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. They make many intriguing arguments about prejudice against fat people in our culture. For instance, they criticize the $33 billion diet industry in the U.S. and the "War on Fat." And they argue that the literature on dieting and obesity is conflicted at best. Fat-positive feminism and the NAAFA both argue, for instance, researchers automatically attribute any co-morbidity (high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc.) to obesity and rarely push beyond the fundamental assumption that obesity is unhealthy to question any causal links. Put differently, in much of the research on obesity the causal links between obestiy and its co-morbidities are simply assumed, rather than actually tested.

They explain in simple terms why diets don't work. 95% of diets fail; people regain their weight back and more. This has always been a point of fascination with me, for as long as my husband has remained thin. A few years ago we had occasion to talk to one of the clinicians at the Pennington Center who said that my husband was an anomaly; there is only a very tiny percentage (I don't remember the exact figure) of folks who actually manage to keep off the weight once they lose it. Steve has kept his weight off for 8 years now.

Part of the war on fat people has been an increase in prejudice against fat people in the past ten years. The "epidemic" of obesity has received a lot of media attention. People are very judgmental against fat people, attributing weight to a weak will. I'm a pretty strong-minded person. I've been sober for nearly 20 years, for instance. There have been times in my life when I did diet. Mostly in my youth. And more recently over the past 8 years, since Steve has lost his weight and since I have been gaining weight every year. Although any dieting I have tried has always failed, my husband simply accuses me of "not really dieting." He did it. Therefore everyone should be able to do it.

So, the questions becomes, why did I have WLS, given all this information, and given that I buy into a fat-acceptance ideology. The answer is simple. I turned 40. At 40, I would tell people I was 40, fat, and happy. Which was true. But I -still- gained weight every year, even though my eating habits didn't change, and I was started to feel very tired and very old. I have nightmares about losing my mobility. I still don't believe in male standards of beauty. I don't believe I have to be as thin as Willow is (which is what my ideal weight claims I should be). I remain angry at the rhetoric of the obesity epidemic and the judgments that people make against fat people. But I'm tired of taking so many meds for high blood pressure. It's very costly. And, ultimately, I stopped feeling okay about myself. I don't want to rationalize away why I got this surgery (at least not in this post), and I still identify as a fat-positive feminist.

An interesting point has arisen since my WLS. The doctor (not my primary care physician, but Dr. Melancon, the internal medicine guy who works with Dr. Hargroder) immediately took me off of all blood pressure pills. And my blood pressure has been normal. I've only lost 15 lbs. so far. He says that it just reflects how much salt is in the average American diet. (Again, another point that challenges the co-morbidity of obesity and high blood pressure.)

In any case, it's done, and despite all the cognitive dissonance, I got this surgery, and I am biding my time, "cautiously optimistic" about its success.

Weight Loss Surgery

Well, this is about the fifth or sixth time I've started on this post. I'm uncomfortable sharing this information publicly, and I'm not really sure why. But since it's been consuming me lately, I've decided to go ahead and post about it anyway.

After many months of investigation and deliberation, I decided to have gastric bypass surgery. I had my surgery last Wednesday. So far I am recovering nicely. My incisions itch, which is a good sign, and I believe I am passed the possibility of pneumonia/blood clot stage. I'm living on less than 500 calories a day, and I have lost 13 lbs. thus far. I'm on a liquid diet right now; I have shifted from clear liquids to full liquids, which means I can eat cottage cheese and yogurt, along with cream soups instead of broth. Thank god. I'm sick of broth. I get most of my nutrients from protein shakes, which are nasty tasting.

My surgeon is Andrew Hargroder, located right here in Baton Rouge. People from all over the country come to see him for this surgery. They rave about his skills and his bedside manner. I found him to be nice, competent, but I didn't spend very much time with him (at least un-anesthetized), so I couldn't really say much beyond an initial impression. He has a solid reputation, however, and my primary care physician said he was a good choice (even though she thinks WLS is a bad idea). The hospital I went to is called Vista, and I was very comfortable there.

I did a lot of surfing about this issue and I learned most of my information from a website called Obesityhelp.com. There are typically two types of weight-loss surgeries. The kind that makes your stomach too small to eat much, and the "malabsorptive" kind that blocks your stomach from absorbing calories by rerouting your intestines in addition to shrinking your stomach size. The type of surgery I got is called the vertical sleeve, which simply removes part of your stomach. If you're really curious about the different kinds of surgery, you can visit obesityhelp.com. They have tons of information on the different surgeries and their various risks and advantages.

The price of the surgery (which was a lot of fucking money) includes consulting with a staff nutritionist, but thus far her help has been rather boiler-plate rather than individualized, so I am going to see a registered nutritionist on my own on Monday.

Right now my stomach can hold about 4 oz. of food, which is a teeny tiny amount of food. They encourage people to buy baby food spoons, which I did, to help you learn to eat slowly and in small bites. It takes me half an hour to eat 4 oz. of yogurt. I can actually feel it going down into my stomach.

I am really hoping that this procedure will work once I move to normal food. I have my doubts, but after years of struggling with dieting with minimal results, I am giving this a go. I'm sure I will post my reflections and progress in upcoming entries. Or perhaps I will delete this one. I'm not sure yet.

The View

I love The View and once Rosie joined I started watching it frequently. I did indeed see the spat between Rosie and Elisabeth. It was rough, and it was anecdotal of the state our country is in between left and right, I think. The gossip is that Whoopi is going to take Rosie's place. That's exciting news.